Archive for the ‘Comedy’ Category
Posted by jeremiasx on June 10, 2012
The cell phone was the key element of the plan. It was the silent witness to all of it. Misdirection and illusion. Remember that. Always.
I walked out of the adult novelty store and cut a few blocks over to the targeted hotel, walked in the front door. I took off my coat and dropped it at the security station, then walked briskly out the front door despite the puzzled inquiry from the security drone, ducked down an alley.
Inside the security team and their government counterparts would be puzzling over the coat and it’s total contents. A well-made mock up of a ceramic gun which was really just a modified toy from Wal-Mart bought for ten dollars. A note that said, “BANG YOU DEAD. By the time you read this you’ve already been paying attention to the wrong plot for a week too long. Nice to meet ya. Srsly tho you fags suck.”
Moving through the alley I quickly jerked the wig and prosthetic makeup from my face and stuffed them in a black garbage bag along with my outer set of clothes. I tied it to my belt. Now dressed in jogging shorts and a plain Old Navy tee shirt I hopped up to a fire escape on the adjoining building and ascended to the third-floor vacant apartment that had been quietly rented out by a nonexistent tenant months in advance. The place was pretty nice, but I wouldn’t have time to enjoy the sparsely decorated vacant pad for more than a minute. I found the bug-out bag in the hall closet and dumped it’s contents. A wallet full of cash, passport, new documentation. Yet another set of casual clothes, all black, and a new wig and black ball cap. A black form-fitting latex mask. I’d only need those for five more minutes, then the next set of clothes which were a bit more refined and therefore less noticeable on this side of town. The change took me under three minutes, but the shave and haircut took a few more. I had plenty of practice buzzing my do in the Army in a hurry for inspections.
After securing all the old gear, hair, and trash in a metal trash bin in the kitchen I dumped a handy bottle of acid from the bag over all of it, thereby destroying all associated DNA. After checking my personal smartphone to be sure it had all the necessary encryption software installed and functioned properly, as well as being fully charged, I dumped the silent witness into the acid bin with the rest of the evidence. Sure, you can have it. Good luck getting anything out of it.
One more trip to the hall closet and I was set. I picked up the crossbow with an attached coil of nylon rope and cocked the lever. I walked to the north face window and found it open as planned. A cool breeze was welcome after all the sweat I’d built up in the last few minutes. I found my target one floor down and far left across the street and fired. Bullseye. After securing the handle to the zipline I checked the street to be sure I wouldn’t hurt anyone and tossed out about half a dozen smoke grenades. Smoke filled the avenue and horns began to blare and the sounds of shock and awe rose toward me, along with so much smoke that Cheech and Chong couldn’t have determined what the hell was going on. Perfect. I perched on the ledge, said a silent prayer to Ceiling Cat, and flew across to the next secure location, the apartment above a posh downtown eatery.
As soon as I flew into the window I quickly slashed the zipline and tossed it, along with the anchoring bolt, as far back to my left and across the street as I could. I heard it ping off the news stand pretty much below the apartment I’d just left. Good enough. I added the layer of designer clothes over my black ones and made my way to the bathroom. An exposed hole in the flooring revealed the wet wall that would allow me access into the bathroom of Chez Henri via the extensive network of sewage and vent pipes. Fortunately these looked to have all been changed out within the last few years to keep up with changing building codes. Fairly clean, and again, good enough. After dropping into the hole I pulled the red rope that pulled the missing tile on a pulley back across over my head and concealed, at least temporarily, my escape route. A similar secret door allowed me entrance to the handicapped stall in the restaurant where I repeated the same process.
I looked out beneath the stall doors and didn’t see any feet. That was a bonus. Checking my phone and feeds, it appeared everyone had perfectly performed their assigned tasks. I’m a cog in a big wheel, and we’re rolling over and through this bullshit society. A quick view in the bathroom mirror allowed me to fix my hair after ditching the ball cap and latex mask in the wastepaper bin on the wall by the hand dryer. I stuffed in extra wet ones on top just to be on the safe side. I pulled the lint roller from my pocket and got the wall insulation off my clothes. Rolled it in a paper towel with my latex fingerpads (complete with fake prints) and stuffed them in the bin. I’d been wearing the same one for months. Time for new ones. I walked out to a table of old friends waiting for me with a nice spread of food and wine on a white tablecloth.
“Hey kids. You’re looking good, but the food looks better. Sheila you’re more stunning in Barbie doll attire than I would have guessed. Darren, you look better without all the fake blood on you, ya fuckin chomo. No homo, man.”
“Well I must say,” Darren quickly replied, “you look better clean-cut and proper than as a hippie fucktard any day.”
“Just don’t ask me if you can smoke in here. I hate cigarettes, especially at dinner. I’m still not eating anything but the veggies. You guys eat carcass if you want. It’s your body, you live with it. Fags.” That’s my girl.
Alex looked around to be sure we were mostly alone, and raised his glass. The English accent was real, and always came in handy for phone ops even though he’d lived in the States most of his life. “All objectives were completed, we have identified the agent provocateurs and their associates. Our next cruise will be smoother sailing, but I get the feeling the rest of their lives in the undercover business are pretty much over. I hear they all have Facebook pages and Twitter accounts that proclaim their greatness in law enforcement skullfuckery as well as displaying their taste in illegal internet porn to the world. Their bosses may understand, but their wives might not. Tonight we dine with our extended family in France. Cheers!”
We toasted to Us. We toasted to being smarter, not harder. We toasted to the win. In the end, it was simply for the lulz. Next time…maybe not so much. C’est la vie.
Posted in Activism, America, Anonymous, Bizarre, CIA, Civil Rights, Comedy, Conspiracy, Conspiracy Theories, Democracy, Dissent, Education, Fiction, FISA, Freedom, Funny, Human Rights, Justice, Law, Law Enforcement, Liberty, Opinion, Patriotism, Peace, Politics, Protest, Random, Resistance, Revolution, Sex, Society, Terrorism, Tyranny, Uncategorized, War, Weird | Tagged: Anonymous, Bacon, Dissent, Fiction, Literature, Politics, Resistance, revolution, Tech, Weird | Leave a Comment »
Posted by jeremiasx on May 4, 2008
LOL…this is really funny stuff…believable or NOT you gotta hear it from the Alex Jones radio show (NO, I do not listen to Alex Jones OR ANY OTHER radio personality regularly)…what caught my interest is the audio is supposedly the DC Madame saying she had no plans of hanging herself in a recent interview. All that aside, the more important question I’m asking myself…why would I even doubt that a guy who is guilty of war crimes and crimes against humanity would end up facing allegations over a dead hooker? Well…DICK…you are teh suck. That’s why.
One final note…in the pantheon of conspiracy theories of late this one is certainly the most amusing and plausible…it’s not hard to fake a suicide, just ask Hillary. Enjoy the vid.
Posted in 9/11, Activism, America, Arkansas, Censorship, Cheney, Comedy, Conspiracy, Conspiracy Theories, Dissent, Funny, George Bush, GOP, Impeachment, Journalism, Justice, Liberty, Life, Media, Money, News, NSA Wiretapping Scandal, Opinion, Patriotism, Peace, Politics, Protest, Psychology, Religion, Republicans, Resistance, Revolution, Ron Paul, Sex, Society, Uncategorized, Unexplained, War, War on Terror, Weird | 1 Comment »
Posted by jeremiasx on January 29, 2008
Posted in 9/11, 9/11 Truth, Activism, Arkansas, Cheney, Comedy, Conspiracy, Democracy, Dissent, Economy, Education, Energy, Environment, Finance, Freedom, Freemasons, George Bush, GOP, Impeachment, Justice, Law, Liberty, Life, Masons, Military, Money, News, Newton County, Opinion, Politics, Poverty, Protest, Random, Republicans, Resistance, Revelations, Revolution, Ron Paul, Society, Uncategorized | 2 Comments »
Posted by jeremiasx on January 21, 2008
Posted in Comedy, Dissent, Economy, Education, Federal Reserve, Finance, Freemasons, Funny, George Bush, Investing, Journalism, Life, Money, New York, News, Opinion, Prophecy, Society, Stock Market, Uncategorized, Wall Street | 1 Comment »
Posted by jeremiasx on January 7, 2008
I found this over on Digg posted by “VoteRonPaul” a bit ago…they (FOX NEWS) are SO BUSTED. Watch it! Sorry for all the tags…but hey…I want maximum exposure and PLEASE REPOST this FAR AND WIDE. OH YEA, DROP FOX NEWS FROM YOUR CABLE SERVICE…it’s time they pay for this masquerade as a “fair and balanced” news program. I hear their stock is dropping anyhow. Might as well throw some well-deserved salt on an open wound while we’re at it, right?
Posted in 9/11 Truth, Activism, Al Qaeda, America, Ann Coulter, Arkansas, Bill O'Reilly, Bizarre, Brit Hume, Censorship, Cheney, CIA, Civil Rights, Comedy, Conspiracy, Conspiracy Theories, Democracy, Dissent, Economy, Education, Energy, Environment, Federal Reserve, Finance, FISA, Florida, Football, Fox News, Freedom, Freemasons, Funny, George Bush, Global Warming, GOP, Health Care, Hillary Clinton, Human Rights, Immigration, Impeachment, Investing, Iran, Iraq, Israel, Journalism, Justice, Karl Rove, Law, Law Enforcement, Liberty, Life, Masons, Media, Medicine, Military, Money, Music, Myanmar, MySpace, NAACP, New Hampshire, New York, News, Newton County, NSA Wiretapping Scandal, NYC, Opinion, Pakistan, Patriotism, Peace, Politics, Poverty, Prophecy, Protest, Psychology, Race, Rainbow Family, Random, REAL ID, Religion, Republicans, Resistance, Revelations, Revolution, Ron Paul, Science, Society, Sports, Stock Market, Technology, Television, Terrorism, Turkey, TV, Tyranny, Uncategorized, Unexplained, US Attorneys, US Attorneys Scandal, Wall Street, War, War on Drugs, War on Terror, Weird, WTC | 2 Comments »
Posted by jeremiasx on December 27, 2007
Two thumbs up for creativity and timeliness.
HOUSTON (Reuters) – A home where President George W. Bush lived as a young boy with his parents in Odessa, Texas, and that is now part of a presidential museum there was damaged on Thursday by a fire that investigators blamed on arson.
“I can tell you it has been determined that it was intentionally set, but I cannot discuss anything about evidence or possible suspects because this is an ongoing criminal investigation,” said city of Odessa spokeswoman Andrea Goodson.
Museum administrator Lettie England said no motive for the blaze had been determined and there was no reason at this point to believe it was a political act. She said there were no notes or messages left at the scene. (authors note: I believe the act speaks for itself…lolz…)
England said in a telephone interview from the west Texas city that the arsonist spread some kind of flammable liquid on the door and front windows and set the fire.
The then 2-year-old Bush lived in the two-bedroom home from September 1948 to April 1949 with his father, former President George Bush, then a trainee for an oil company, and his mother, Barbara Bush.
The Bushes had come to Texas from the Northeastern United States after World War Two to get into the oil business.
Goodson said the front door and windows and the attic were badly damaged.
Posted in Activism, Bizarre, Cheney, Civil Rights, Comedy, Democracy, Democrats, Dissent, Education, Federal Reserve, Freedom, Freemasons, Funny, George Bush, GOP, Impeachment, Investing, Law, Law Enforcement, Liberty, Life, Media, Music, Opinion, Patriotism, Peace, Politics, Prophecy, Protest, Random, Republicans, Resistance, Revelations, Revolution, Ron Paul, Society, Tyranny, Uncategorized, Unexplained, Weird | 1 Comment »
Posted by jeremiasx on October 28, 2007
FROM JUDICIAL WATCH
(Washington, DC) — Judicial Watch, the public interest group that investigates and prosecutes government corruption, today released new documents from the Federal Bureau of Investigation (“FBI”) related to the “expeditious departure” of Saudi nationals, including members of the bin Laden family, from the United States following the 9/11 attacks. According to one of the formerly confidential documents, dated 9/21/2001, terrorist Osama bin Laden may have chartered one of the Saudi flights.
The document states: “ON 9/19/01, A 727 PLANE LEFT LAX, RYAN FLT 441 TO ORLANDO, FL W/ETA (estimated time of arrival) OF 4-5PM. THE PLANE WAS CHARTERED EITHER BY THE SAUDI ARABIAN ROYAL FAMILY OR OSAMA BIN LADEN…THE LA FBI SEARCHED THE PLANE [REDACTED] LUGGAGE, OF WHICH NOTHING UNUSUAL WAS FOUND.” The plane was allowed to depart the United States after making four stops to pick up passengers, ultimately landing in Paris where all passengers disembarked on 9/20/01, according to the document_
Overall, the FBI’s most recent document production includes details of the six flights between 9/14 and 9/24 that evacuated Saudi royals and bin Laden family members. The documents also contain brief interview summaries and occasional notes from intelligence analysts concerning the cursory screening performed prior to the departures. According to the FBI documents, incredibly not a single Saudi national nor any of the bin Laden family members possessed any information of investigative value.
Moreover, the documents contain numerous errors and inconsistencies which call to question the thoroughness of the FBI’s investigation of the Saudi flights. For example, on one document, the FBI claims to have interviewed 20 of 23 passengers on the Ryan International Airlines flight (commonly referred to as the “Bin Laden Family Flight”). On another document, the FBI claims to have interviewed 15 of 22 passengers on the same flight.
“Eight days after the worst terrorist attack in U.S. history, Osama bin Laden possibly charters a flight to whisk his family out of the country, and it’s not worth more than a luggage search and a few brief interviews?” asked Judicial Watch President Tom Fitton. “Clearly these documents prove the FBI conducted a slapdash investigation of these Saudi flights. We’ll never know how many investigative leads were lost due to the FBI’s lack of diligence.”
U.S. District Court Judge Richard W. Roberts ordered the FBI to resubmit “proper disclosures” to the Court and Judicial Watch, having previously criticized the adequacy of redaction descriptions, the validity of exemption claims, and other errors in the FBI’s disclosures. Incredibly, the FBI had previously redacted Osama bin Laden’s name from the records in order “to protect privacy interests.”
The latest version of the FBI documents, obtained under the provisions of the Freedom of Information Act and through ongoing litigation (Judicial Watch v. Department of Homeland Security & Federal Bureau of Investigation, No. 04-1643 (RWR)) is available below.
Click here to view the latest version of the FBI Saudi Flight Documents
Click here to watch Chris Farrell, Judicial Watch Director of Research and Investigations, on FOX News, discussing the documents.
Posted in 9/11, 9/11 Truth, Activism, Al Qaeda, America, Antichrist, Arkansas, Bizarre, Censorship, Cheney, CIA, Civil Rights, Comedy, Conspiracy, Conspiracy Theories, Democrats, Dissent, Education, Freedom, Freemasons, George Bush, GOP, Hillary Clinton, Impeachment, Iran, Iraq, Israel, Journalism, Justice, Law, Law Enforcement, Liberty, Life, Masons, Media, Military, Money, Music, New York, News, Newton County, NSA Wiretapping Scandal, NYC, Opinion, Patriotism, Peace, Politics, Protest, Rainbow Family, Random, Religion, Republicans, Resistance, Revelations, Revolution, Ron Paul, Society, Television, Terrorism, TV, Tyranny, Uncategorized, Unexplained, War, Weird, WTC | 1 Comment »
Posted by jeremiasx on October 22, 2007
So…what’s in YOUR 401K?
Posted in Activism, America, Arkansas, Comedy, Conspiracy, Democrats, Dissent, Economy, Education, Federal Reserve, Finance, Freedom, Freemasons, Funny, George Bush, GOP, Hillary Clinton, Impeachment, Investing, Journalism, Life, Media, Money, News, Politics, Poverty, Prophecy, Protest, Random, Resistance, Revelations, Revolution, Stock Market, Technology, Tyranny, Uncategorized | 3 Comments »
Posted by jeremiasx on October 14, 2007
My third day in DC began upon awakening at my new friend’s apartment in Arlington…then a mighty breakfast at a local establishment that helped me to remember fondly the days of truck stop food…you know, the typical greasy spoon stuff. It was awesome.
I wore my new “Arrest Bush” t-shirt for the day of the big march, and I got appreciative looks from nearly everyone I passed. It’s got the Articles of Impeachment on the back.
Pretty nifty…I’ll link you to Laurie’s group on that…if you want to get one. Suggested donations are like ten apiece (but more if you can, less if you can’t)…a pittance for such a fine article of clothing. Here I am pimping mine in DC…showing the DC cops where the real criminal lives…this was from the day of the protest, incidentally.
I think I had my eyes closed but I just pointed to the stench that was emanating from the address at 1600 Pennsylvania…oh yea, there was a HUGE pile of horse shit on the front lawn that day. Not sure why. Anyhow…
When we were trying to find a parking place we drove by the counter-protest assembling under a spotty stream (not sea) of American flags and occasional Vietnam vet bikers…gathering to pump themselves up for what was one of the most lopsided responses to a peace march I think that’s ever been shamefully presented as a “counter” to our massive effort there on 9/15. It seemed pretty corny from a distance, and it got even sillier face to face with those people, believe me.
Lafayette Square was already crowded an hour before the march was scheduled to start…people from all walks of life, all economic backgrounds, all cultural and racial heritages…so many people. Thousands…and all there to promote the cause of peace. I was impressed, to say the least. The largest gathering I’d been to recently that could hold a candle to it was the Rainbow Gathering in Fallsville, Arkansas, right down from my house.
This crowd was a bit more diverse, to be honest…there weren’t just typical “peaceniks and hippies.” There were students, teachers, artists, lawyers, soldiers, veterans, and political figures. Nader was there…so was Sheehan…others whose names I have unfortunately forgotten but who gave very passionate addresses. I continued strolling along with the sea of people along the natural paths, the sidewalks, checking out the different groups represented, the different causes being promoted…everything from vegan living to impeachment (this one was a nearly universal theme) to freeing the Jena Six (that march would happen a week or two after this one) and anything else in between.
There was a young man pogo sticking for peace (said so on his T-shirt, even) an old man dressed as Santa, on stilts, with a sign reading “Troops Home By Xmas”…a group of anarchist cheerleaders…a LARGE contingent from the Georgetown Law School…several hundred, I believe…and many others.
I spent a lot of my time hanging out with “Start Loving” and Patricia (my photographer lady friend I had pizza with the night before, and she had of course remembered to charge my batteries at her hotel room overnight, a BIG HELP) and we talked about how wonderful it was that all of us were able to be witness and participate in such an historic event. We all feel that this is the real beginning of a stronger popular movement towards peace and justice. Time will be the judge on that, of course.
One event that moved me directly to tears was the display of a rolling flag-draped coffin…with a sad looking man leaning on it and a street poet piping up a terrible tale of sorrow and anguish…and rage. The words he spoke chilled me to my soul and I wept throughout the experience. It was very moving for me.
Read the story of Carlos Arredondo, “Man on Fire.”
It was during my time with Patricia and Start that i remembered I was to meet Thomas, the man who had begun a 24/7 vigil for peace and nuclear disarmament all the way back in 1981…and I found the courage to make my way over to his vigil site and introduce myself and my point of view. He was pretty receptive, and then instructive, and I found our stories had many similarities, especially as it regarded a walk of faith and the power of belief and the ability to see God’s will at work all around us regardless of where we were physically…and that’s a great place to be sometimes.
I found out he would not be able to join us during our march on the Capitol Building…he can’t leave his protest camp for even five minutes, or the DC park police will tear down his displays, signs, tent and everything else and he’ll never be able to return to his state of grace he operates under now due to being grandfathered in, so to speak, regarding laws on static protests. He and his wife Concepcion have pretty much run the thing for 26 years now, with the help of different volunteers…but it’s mostly their protest, anyone else involved was quick to tell me. They are the heart and soul of it. I will talk about Thomas again in Part 5.
I was also pleased to see a large contingent of 9/11 Truth activists present and waving their signs and being outspoken on bullhorns…I was also happy to see that the majority of folks there in the square didn’t think they were “crazy” or “disruptive” either…I think the VAST MAJORITY of America knows the facts are far from known concerning that terrible day. I’m still amazed at the general apathy and level of brainwashing that has obviously taken place within our collective psyche to keep us from being so outraged (as a society) that we have been lied to about the deaths of 3,000 of our fellow citizens and we haven’t DONE ANYTHING ABOUT IT…anyhow. I digress.
The time for the march was at hand…the student group from Georgetown and the ANSWER coalition got the crowd moving that direction…and then there was some general confusion with the marshals and the participants about the order…mostly just that we needed to let the Iraq Vets Against The War go up front…
and I think that was appropriate….but anyhow off we went down the street towards the Capitol Building…I don’t know how many of us, but there were a bunch. I tried to find places that I could get up to to get a nice bird’s eye view shot of the action, but found my progress impeded by DC cops posted at the stairwells of (normally) public buildings, not allowing access for any purpose, including taking photos. I had to mention this seemed highly irregular to the lady officer who told me I couldn’t go up a public stairwell…she didn’t seem concerned. I asked her if it was routine policy for the DC cops to make up the rules as they went…and I pointed out the police photographer rapidly snapping shots from this same vantage point I wanted access to. Well, by this time a reporter was there and filming so I went the whole nine and asked her how it felt to work for a fascist dictator (all DC capitol police are uniformed Secret Service…) and she REALLY didn’t seem to like that. I felt bad, for about five seconds. I walked on. I finally settled for a giant concrete planter…you know, the kind with flowers and stuff in them along the sidewalk in some of the DC parks. Here’s what I got.
More To Follow In Part 5, Check The Archive For Past Posts:
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Photo Essay
Posted in 9/11, 9/11 Truth, Activism, Al Qaeda, America, Arkansas, Censorship, Cheney, CIA, Civil Rights, Comedy, Conspiracy, Conspiracy Theories, Democrats, Dissent, Economy, Education, FISA, Fox News, Freedom, Freemasons, George Bush, GOP, Hillary Clinton, Hillbilly, Hitchhiking To DC, Homeless, Human Rights, Impeachment, Iran, Iraq, Israel, Journalism, Justice, Law, Law Enforcement, Liberty, Life, Masons, Media, Military, Myanmar, News, Newton County, NSA Wiretapping Scandal, Opinion, Patriotism, Peace, Poetry, Politics, Poverty, Prophecy, Protest, Random, REAL ID, Religion, Republicans, Resistance, Revelations, Revolution, Ron Paul, Society, Television, Terrorism, TV, Tyranny, Uncategorized, Unexplained, US Attorneys, War, WTC | 1 Comment »
Posted by jeremiasx on October 14, 2007
He learned from the best…and LOOK at that FORM!
Posted in 9/11, 9/11 Truth, Activism, America, Antichrist, Arkansas, Astrology, Bizarre, Censorship, Cheney, CIA, Civil Rights, Comedy, Conspiracy, Conspiracy Theories, Democrats, Dissent, Economy, Education, Freedom, Freemasons, George Bush, GOP, Hillary Clinton, Impeachment, Iran, Iraq, Israel, Journalism, Law, Liberty, Life, Masons, Media, Military, Money, Newton County, Opinion, Patriotism, Peace, Politics, Prophecy, Protest, Republicans, Resistance, Revelations, Revolution, Ron Paul, Society, Terrorism, TV, Tyranny, Uncategorized, War, Weird, WTC | 1 Comment »